Power and Love

Power: the ability to do something or act in a particular way, especially as a faculty or quality. Love: an intense feeling of deep affection. A balance of two different intense things may not be that different after all “The greatest illusion of this world is the illusion of separation. Things you think are separate and different are actually one and the same. We are all one people, but we live as if divided.” - Guru Pathik, 'Avatar: The Last Airbender'.

my aversion to accusations

when someone accuses me of something i didn't do it pisses me off and i want to get over that some how

Limerence and Trauma

 I found out a very traumatic event happened not only when I was born but when I was 3 years old as well.

These traumas have shaped my relationships and made it hard for me to keep friends and lovers. 

Limerence is a state of mind which results from romantic or non-romantic feelings for another person and typically includes obsessive thoughts and fantasies and a desire to form or maintain a relationship with the object of love and have one's feelings reciprocated.

Its like I keep having thoughts and memories of what I said and what I could have done better over and over in my head and it haunts me because it stirs up alot of emotions about what I could have done better when in reality I was doing the best I could at the time. I feel like it is stopping me from learning from my mistakes and even making future mistakes leading to successes.

I AM the Violet Tara by Peter Mt. Shasta

Consciousness Transcends form

Music and Mental Illness

The heavy thoughts we all carry seem to melt away when music is playing. I love tribal music and Celtic hymns. Music carries vibration and energy so finding what music works for you in the moment is easy as you will be drawn to what will be most beneficial.

It takes time to realize pain is the only illusion and its just a choice of seeing the truth within

Its not healed in my heart and body and mind yet

ive been through alot of pain

like the rest of the world

Its sad we give our power away to those who will only use it to destroy us

I should have believed in my self more than some government to take care of me

I tried every avenue through the system and it didn't work so I realized the system was all a lie I was telling myself.

you see christs message is this.

We and everything else is all the One True Creator. So when I can take responsibility for my actions and thoughts and live to the word of god most high by keeping my thoughts and actions clean in the eye of god most high

and asking the holy spirit what to do next

fear gets in the way because thought creates emotion

So if I purify my thoughts and protect myself

I believe we can all be liken unto christ because we would be christ when we are living in the kingdom of heaven within

I don't know who or what I am anymore

All I want to do is learn to accept and love all parts of myself. It takes a long time but I am willing to commit myself to the process.