Limerence and Trauma

 I found out a very traumatic event happened not only when I was born but when I was 3 years old as well.

These traumas have shaped my relationships and made it hard for me to keep friends and lovers. 

Limerence is a state of mind which results from romantic or non-romantic feelings for another person and typically includes obsessive thoughts and fantasies and a desire to form or maintain a relationship with the object of love and have one's feelings reciprocated.

Its like I keep having thoughts and memories of what I said and what I could have done better over and over in my head and it haunts me because it stirs up alot of emotions about what I could have done better when in reality I was doing the best I could at the time. I feel like it is stopping me from learning from my mistakes and even making future mistakes leading to successes.

I AM the Violet Tara by Peter Mt. Shasta

Consciousness Transcends form

Music and Mental Illness

The heavy thoughts we all carry seem to melt away when music is playing. I love tribal music and Celtic hymns. Music carries vibration and energy so finding what music works for you in the moment is easy as you will be drawn to what will be most beneficial.

It takes time to realize pain is the only illusion and its just a choice of seeing the truth within

Its not healed in my heart and body and mind yet

ive been through alot of pain

like the rest of the world

Its sad we give our power away to those who will only use it to destroy us

I should have believed in my self more than some government to take care of me

I tried every avenue through the system and it didn't work so I realized the system was all a lie I was telling myself.

you see christs message is this.

We and everything else is all the One True Creator. So when I can take responsibility for my actions and thoughts and live to the word of god most high by keeping my thoughts and actions clean in the eye of god most high

and asking the holy spirit what to do next

fear gets in the way because thought creates emotion

So if I purify my thoughts and protect myself

I believe we can all be liken unto christ because we would be christ when we are living in the kingdom of heaven within

I don't know who or what I am anymore

All I want to do is learn to accept and love all parts of myself. It takes a long time but I am willing to commit myself to the process.

Wisdom and Mental Illness

Divine love is with in you and all around and in all things.

Healing comes when you understand that the Kingdom of Heaven is within you!

True Gentleness and Mental Illness

Love is not sacrifice, love is true gentleness and that is something we can achieve if we compare our current fallen state with our divine state hidden in our DNA.