420 BLAZE IT

i been smoking that dank since highschool and I gotta say its been pretty great. the only problem is that it is a psychoactive drug so it will alter your mind state messing with important hormones in your brain. because i have a mental illness i tend to abuse drugs. now that god has told me in person his plan i understand i should just continue living my life how i was but this time i will feel more connected with the universe. tbh i would rather learn more by staying mentally ill but i feel really healthy and clear now. i am grateful and glad my higher power came to me to save me and tell me that i am loved.

abuse

for the entirety of our family lives since my father married my mom all that time ago, our family has continuously been locked into an endless cycle of mental and physical abuse in almost all of its forms. Mental illness causes people to put up walls around every aspect of their lives because the best way to heal from mental illness is to push everyone away until you come to realize happiness doesn't come from anyone or anything else. It comes from the natural intelligence of the entire universe we were blessed with.

D&D and Everything Else

dungeons and dragons is more real than our reality because you can experience anything in it. if you believe in christ he teaches you to love anyone and everyone. but all that does is wear you down til you are lying helpless in the dirt. if you truly want to help others then start playing d&d. there are an endless number of religions to choose from. i made my own and you probably know what it is called

spooky scary skeleton

theyll shock your bones and break your bones and seal your doom

God and Mental Illness

I have been on this path from the beginning. I believe I chose who my parents would be before I came into this world so that I can have the best people around me to accomplish the mission that God has given us. Last night something happened to me that I want to share with you. I have dealt with and struggled with my mental illness and it has made it hard to keep friends or jobs. I used to feel so lost and alone. Now I feel as though the love and gratitude is abounding. Recently I had been taking my vitamins wrong as in I was taking too many of them. This caused me to get very little sleep for about 4 days. Also I had been working on something that took all my focus and energy and never gave myself time to recuperate. When I am lost in my own mentally ill brain I have almost no concept of what is rational anymore. I become impatient and started yelling at the people I love. When I started yelling at my father it was a recipe for disaster. I have many people in my family that have suffered from mental illness or are still suffering now and my dad has always been afraid of his children because at times they can become violent due to their fight or flight response. My dad has the same genetic disorder as me where he can't process his B vitamins. Eventually after my father tried his best to calm me down he called the cops so that I could get the help I so desperately needed. When the cops arrived I was waiting for them outside and went with them willingly after telling them the situation. The cops took me to an er and expected me to pay 1000 dollars so I can talk to some overworked hack with a degree. So I asked them if I could leave and I did. Before the cops came I was trying to get inspiration on what I should do to calm down and the spirit guided me to meditate. So I did a round of Wim Hof and sat in the grass and began to go deeper into myself. Anyway, after I left the hospital I felt a great love and gratitude in my heart like I had before and I was continuously guided to meditate as I walked. I did as I was instructed and eventually I came upon a group of 5 people across the street from me. 3 of the people were yelling terribly mean things to each other and wishing bad things on each other. I calmly and patiently waited until they noticed me and I got them to all calm down and separate. I talked to one of the ladies that were arguing and listened to what she had to say and walked with her for some time. She talked about how she had terrible things happen to her in her life. She then told me that she was a Leo like me and that she gets angry and yells alot. I told her I know what she means and she kept on wishing bad things would happen to the people she was arguing with. I didn't mind because I know that talking to someone helps tremendously. I began to sing and she felt comforted but she was afraid that the cops would catch her because she said she had drugs on her. I told her I understood and let her leave. At this point I was right next to the city train station so I walked towards the platform. On the platform I saw 3 guys in their 30s or so talking amungst themselves. I was instructed by the spirit to talk to them. When I got there one of them with a beard and a yellow hoodie began to speak with me calmly and directly. He saw that I was cold because I didn't grab my jacket from the house. He gave me his jacket and when I put it on I felt warm. He said to me all kinds of strange things I couldn't make sense of and eventually he started to tell me who he is and things about me that no one else could ever know. He was talking about how my father and mother had mental illness and I talked to him about each one of my family. I asked him if he was talking about my father and he replied to me. I am your father. I felt comforted and instantly knew that I was talking to my heavenly father. He told me when we first started talking that all human bodies are called a bottle. He said that he borrowed that man's bottle so that he may speak to me. After he told me that my parents had 4 generations of mental illness.  He began to expound extensively on mental illness. He said that mental illness occurs when someone is abused or goes through a traumatic event. He talked about all different kinds of mental abuse in many forms and said that this had happened to me for all my life. He said that when I was 9 I began to have nightmares. I asked him many questions in a loving and relaxed tone and he answered them to me what seemed like honestly. He talked about the nature of my existence saying that this world is an endless and harsh survival of the fittest in order to have the universe become more intelligent. I know that adversity overcome will make you grow and he said that as well. Then he began to explain that in order for me to heal from this I need to keep my energy/aura strong. In order to do this he said to be aware that people can vampire energy from other people. Before that I asked him if I could sing because I love to sing and he told me no. He said that singing is a form of energy vampirism because it is seeking attention and that is wrong because we do not gain strength and love from others attention, but by our connection to nature and god. I listened to him more. He softly put his hand on my shoulder and I could feel a warm sensation that turned into even greater happiness in my heart. He then told me that he had grounded me to the earth and that he also refilled my energy. After that he began to put his hands up in front of me with strange motions while saying that he was scanning my soul and body. He said that my energy was powerful and that there was something attached to my heart chakra that protects me. I felt fully safe and protected. The people that he was with were pretending like nothing was happening at all and one of them even asked the man who said he was my heavenly father for a paper for a cigarette. He handed it to him and went back to talking to me. He then began to expound that because I was taking the abuse, every time I was abused my aura and my psyche were completely devastated by it. This made it so that every time I began the process of healing from this abuse it would be ruined by the constant emotional abuse I had gone through my entire life. I asked him about Jesus and he responded by saying that Satan and Jesus Christ were made up to make sure people didn't find the truth of reality so that the work can continue. He asked me if I had some paper to write something down. I told him that I had my phone with me so he asked me to go to YouTube. He asked if he could see my phone so I handed it to him and he showed me this video.

Full Body Scan

He said that in order to heal my brain and body I should listen to it before bed while lying down so that when I awake my body and mind will be healed over the course of the next three days. Then he said that my fight or flight response will go away in 3 days of using this method. We talked extensively about it but eventually he said that he will be back to talk to me more and that this is the beginning of 1000 years of peace and said that it would come about in some years, he said to me that during this time I will be taught and learn everything. He said that after that I will make a planet and that I would be the one to be the god of it. I was grateful and he said that I had to find a good and safe place to sleep tonight and to avoid people who would be a vampire of my energy because it was not worth losing your aura. Then the Trax train came and I got on it. I was so happy and grateful that I have a kind and loving heavenly father. I know what he said to me was true because I know that adversity becomes strength and that sacrifice is actually love, because to sacrifice for another only brings feelings of love trust. 

Live Life

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